Scream into the void

[nothingbutcowboyboots]

snowflake_challenge Challenge #3 In your own space, Scream Into the Void. Get it all out. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Is there anyone more annoying, frustrating, judgemental and rude as other parents at a school? Most of the time I can ignore them, I can be bemused by them but every once in a while I want to scream at them. That would not be helpful though, but this does give me the perfect vent opportunity. 
Although I will say my pre-teen child is very good at putting them in their place with the perfect eyeroll. 

And what is it that offends these other parents so much?
My children use my name.
They call me and Blaze 'Colt and Blaze', not mum and dad. The reason is very simple. Neither of us identify as female and are very uncomfortable with being called 'misum', I'm ok with being called 'dad' but Blaze isn't. We tried a few different alternative terms before we agreed, as a family to use names and it works perfectly for us. 

According to these other parents however we're teaching our children to be 'disrespectful'.
No, Karen, we're teaching them that every single person on the planet is different, experiences life differently and should be referred to as they want to be - it doesn't matter how they look, you call them the name and pronouns that they ask you do. That is actually being respectful. 

Now throw in the fact that in the last couple of months, Eliot has told us they don't know if they 'want to be a boy or a girl'. We sat down and talked about how they're feeling and what they want or need from us, and they have started to use they/them pronouns. They are currently thriving and it's wonderful to see. 

Of course, these same parents think this is terrible and wrong and we're just confusing the child.

Yes Karen, you're right. Eliot is confused. That is why we're giving them the time, space, understanding, information and vocabulary they need to try and figure it out in their own time. 
They're too young, apparently. Well they're old enough to know that they like dinosaurs, and art, and skateboarding, and football, that their favourite colour is green, that James and Grace are their best friends, they don't like bullies, and hate their name being shortened. I'm pretty sure they know themselves better than anyone else. And that includes their gender. 
Another one we hear a lot is 'what if [they] change [their] mind'. Then they change their mind. We start referring to them in the way they request. Literally nothing else changes.

Isn't it absolutely terrible how we listen to our children and treat them with respect? 

Comments

[galadhir]

Not to mention that it's literally none of their business. If your children seem happy and healthy isn't that all they need to know?

(Obviously it would be even better if they could accept the personhood of children, but if they can't do that they could at least mind their own business.)

[tjs_whatnot]

Isn't it absolutely terrible how we listen to our children and treat them with respect?

How DARE you?!? Treating your children like actual people? The NERVE!

I love that you have given your children the language and skills to think and question for themselves and the space to explore their world and their place in it. And your are so right, if they change their minds, or, you know reconsider their life choices as everyone can and does, than your right, in the beautiful worlds you've created for your family NOTHING else changes.

Keep being amazing! Fuck Karen. ❤️

[logans_girl2001]

There needs to be more parents like you.